The Cake Tower
a Mini-Peter Adventure transcribed by Nikki, 2008

13 February, 2008: The Cake Tower... That Ate People?

     January 29th was Mini-Peter's first real, actual, proper birthday - it's been one year since he was created!

     It seems Mini-Peter has learned a great deal of restraint since his first adventure, in which he jumped right into a cake and swam through it. This year...

Oh well. Progress, not perfection, right?

     Next up on the mini-calendar: 13 February - "Real Peter" Gabriel's birthday! When Mini-Peter didn't make it to England for the event (see previous adventure: Predicaments, Part 2), he had to compensate by doing something extra special at home. He told me his big idea, and at first I wasn't sure how on Earth (or Neptune) we'd pull it off. By the time we'd drawn out a proper plan, I... still wasn't sure... but I agreed that we had to try.

And so begins the 58 Layer Cake Tower.

     Yes. That's right. A 58 Layer Cake - that's one layer for every year Real Peter has been on this planet. How the heck are we gonna pull this one off?! For starters, we'll need plenty of supplies.

     We knew right away that problem number one was balance. Even with layers less than an inch thick the final product could easily be over three feet high. Plain cake and frosting wasn't likely to keep that upright without laser-leveled layers. In lieu of lasers (you think I'd trust Mini-Peter with those?!), we opted for structural support from the inside.

     With our balance problem sorted, it was time to get mixing.

The next four days were a haze of cake powder, eggs, oil, water, food colouring, and cake, cake, cake, cake, cake. Teddy looked up a great website called Baking 911 so we could get a crash course in making layered cakes. Following the advice on the site, we froze our layers until we were ready to start "torting" (cutting) and stacking.

And now, the REAL fun begins.

     It was important to build the layers while they were still frozen, so we assigned everyone a task to keep the process as fast and efficient as possible. Kitty and Lugnut were in charge of torting - essentially, splitting each cake horizontally to make two or more layers from one.

     I would stack the layers and Mini-Peter would spread the icing between them. Teddy would man - excuse me, bear - the icing containers, handing Mini-Peter whichever one he needed. With everyone in place, we started building.

     We listened to plenty of Real Peter's music along the way, and when The Tower That Ate People came up in the shuffle, Mini-Peter insisted on repeating it several times. No-one argued - we all love the song and it couldn't have been more appropriate!

"We're building up and up... 'til we can touch the sky!"

     Mini-Peter sang along gleefully as we all worked away, stacking layer upon layer upon layer. We started with the eight inch layers until we ran out of those, then moved to the six inch layers. I kept a diligent tally until finally we reached that magic number... fifty-eight!

     "Wait!" Mini-Peter called out, and threw a rounded layer onto the top.
     "What's that for?" Kitty asked, perplexed.
     "One to grow on," Mini-Peter explained.
     "What does that mean?" Lugnut questioned.
     Mini-Peter shrugged. "I'm not sure, actually," he confessed. "I just heard it somewhere, thought it sounded good."
     "How about something to snack on," Teddy suggested, "on the way to 59?"
     "Very nice," I laughed, "now everyone grab a spatula - we're almost there!"
     Each of us selected a container of icing - Mini-Peter chose Orange, obviously. I chose chocolate, Teddy chose confetti, Lugnut chose vanilla, and Kitty chose red - then we all spread the icing around the outside of the cake.

     Next on the agenda was placing the candles! All 58 would never fit on the top of a little six-inch cake, so we opted for a more creative approach. I lit them all quickly and we turned out the lights, then I snapped a few quick photos while we all sang "Happy Birthday!"

"Happy Birthday, Real Peter... Happy Birthday to you!"

     It took all five of us to blow out the candles. We stared at our great tower for a few minutes, realizing that after all this work, we didn't really want to eat it.
     "Couldn't we just have it bronzed and keep it forever?" Teddy asked, only half joking.
     "It would be a horrible waste of food," Mini-Peter pointed out.
     "How will we ever eat it all?" Lugnut wondered.
     "I'm feeling queasy just looking at it," Kitty added.
     "Don't any of you worry about that," I assured them. "Finding volunteers to eat cake is not one of the more difficult things to do in this world. Between my roommate, family and friends, I don't think any of this will be going to waste."
     "I suppose we should get started then," Mini-Peter suggested.
     "Okay then," I agreed, "let's dig in!"
     "Did you say Dig In?!" Mini-Peter queried with a wicked grin.
     "Don't you even THINK about it!" I chided. "There will be NO cake diving this year - not with your new Rockpalast clothes! Do you have any idea how much time I spent sewing--"
     "I'm only joking!" He laughed. "You're just too much fun to mess with, I'm sorry." Everyone giggled as I smirked with relief.
     "Thanks," I sighed happily, reaching for the knife to cut the cake.

     We ate in silence until our plates were empty, then joked around as we cleaned up the mess and prepared care packages for anyone we could think of who might like some cake. There's nothing quite like spending a special day with great friends. Now grab a plate and help us eat this thing, will ya??

Final Stats Measurements Height: 33 inches (84cm) Width: 8" bottom (21cm),      6" top (16cm) Weight: 22 pounds Calories: approximately 36,000! Ingredients Boxes of Cake Mix: 13      2 Chocolate      2 Confetti      2 Yellow (1 dyed Orange)      2 White (1 dyed Red)      2 French Vanilla (1 dyed Orange)      1 German Chocolate      1 Dark Chocolate      1 Fudge Marble Eggs: 36 Containers of Icing: 8      2 Confetti      2 Chocolate      4 Vanilla      (1 dyed Orange, 1 dyed Red) Red Dye: 1oz Yellow Dye: .75oz Vegetable Oil: 40oz Layers Confetti: 10 Chocolate: 9 Orange: 9 Red: 5 Dark Chocolate: 5 German Chocolate: 5 White: 5 Fudge Marble: 5 French Vanilla: 5 Total: 58! (+1 to grow on)      feel free to count them! --> Miscellaneous Time: appx. 20 hours      (over 5 days) Cake Failures: 1 (Yellow)      (had to leave and turn off      oven to emergency babysit) Broken Layers: Amazingly, none! Extra Cake: 3 bowls of trimmings      (left-overs from flattening)      3 unused back-up layers Volunteers to Help Eat Cake: and counting!

Happy Birthday Real Peter!!!
(feel free to drop in for cake if you're in the neighbourhood!)